


like a rubber band

by Windmire



Category: End of Eternity | Resonance of Fate
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-19
Updated: 2014-09-19
Packaged: 2018-02-17 23:38:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2327324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Windmire/pseuds/Windmire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>He saves her and by the time they reach the ground, they’re both somehow, wonderfully, gloriously alive and Leanne scarcely knows what to do with herself.</i>
</p><p>Surviving’s one thing, but learning to live… That’s harder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	like a rubber band

**Author's Note:**

> I totally meant for this to cover a longer period of time. Whoops.
> 
> Reiterating the suicide attempt warning here, but it's nothing that isn’t already in the game. (ie. the very beginning of the game)

**i.**

She jumps.

She jumps and he saves her. He saves her and by the time they reach the ground, so far away she's not sure whether they're still even in Chandelier, they're both somehow, wonderfully, _gloriously_ alive and Leanne scarcely knows what to do with herself.

She's alive, _alive_ , twenty years old and _alive_ and did Juris know this would happen? Did he know when he begged for one year of freedom for her, did he know when--

It's not something she can dwell on, not when the mere fact she's alive is a sheer miracle, a _gift_ , and she'd been about to take matters into her own hands, hadn't she? She _had_ taken matters into her own hands and if this boy hadn't jumped in, who knows what would have happened to her, who knows how she would have ended up. It's something else she just _can't_ think about, not now. Especially not now.

But the fact that they survived their fall is a miracle in itself as well, another gift, and one she has no intention of squandering, though she can't even begin to imagine just what she's going to do now.

So she follows him, gets his name readily enough when she asks. He's not quite so forthcoming when she asks where he's going though, only gives her another name, Ebel City, and keeps walking.

He doesn't tell her not to follow him though, doesn't seem overly bothered by the fact that she is. And, really, it's not like she's got anywhere else to go.

Chandelier, Aetersyl, ( _returning for her birthday_ ) it's all out of the question now, as surely as if she _had_ died.

So she follows him, setting her trust on the boy who saved her.

And that's how she meets Zephyr.

 

**ii.**

It's a good thing, she reflects as she's being dragged from one place to another, that she's still too keyed up from her jump to so much as think of resting.

One minute they're entering a house on the outskirts of what she can only assume is Ebel City, the next a long-haired man (she thinks she catches the name "Vashyron" from him, but can't be too sure) is hustling them off to the other side of town, to a clothing shop (a _boutique_ ), of all places, where she's hastily introduced to the shop owner (she doesn't quite catch _her_ name yet, not that time, but the woman learns Leanne's name with an ease she can't help but envy, just a little). 

It's not like she has the time to learn her name though, not when she soon finds herself with piles of clothes heaped on her, piece after piece of clothing held up in front of her before being thrown aside or onto her arms, so quickly she can't even form an opinion on each one, much less voice it. Vashyron and the shopkeeper discard even more than they keep, rapidly muttering to each other as they do so, and when she glances up pleadingly at Zephyr-- who's standing near the door, very carefully avoiding eye contact with everyone else-- he only shrugs and shoots her a helpless look, resolutely _not_ budging from his spot.

She considers calling out to him, demanding he at least help her carry these clothes, but before she can even open her mouth, Vashyron and the shopkeeper are taking them from her and dumping them on a display table and she's whisked away to a backroom she enters a brunette and exits a blonde and isn't _that_ an experience she never thought she'd have. (She thinks she likes herself as a blonde, she decides when they bring her to a mirror. It's... nice. Shorter. Different. Not at all the scared girl who left Aetersyl with nothing but a journal clutched in shaking hands.)

Everything is... less overwhelming after that. She actually finds herself enjoying the next part, laughing along with the shopkeeper's gentle teasing, trying on the clothes they shove at her, pulling on soft shirts and colorful blouses, twirling in (short, so much shorter than she ever had before) skirts, even a nice pair of boots to replace her heels, and--

A white shirt with a pink design across the chest (A pig? She thinks it might be a pig. She's never actually seen a pig.) that both the shopkeeper and Vashyron seem to physically recoil from before setting it aside, clucking about it the whole time.

Leanne doesn't get what's wrong with it, not really, but she lets them continue to dress her up, to pick out what ends up being an entire wardrobe, albeit a small one, for her and carry it back to the house she and Zephyr had entered earlier.

And she keeps the pig shirt.

It turns out to be very comfortable.

 

**iii.**

Leanne's goodwill toward one of her helpers doesn't last long.

She's grateful, really, eternally so, but.

Well.

Vashyron's _disgusting_.

He's a dirty pervert, an absolute clown. He can't seem to take anything seriously at all, can't go five minutes without cracking some lewd comment that makes her want to just _slap him_. She does slap him, in fact. Twice during her first week in Ebel City and she can't even feel sorry about it, not for a second. But he laughs it off each time, acts like it's all one big joke. And she should hate him. She should hate him, should demand Zephyr tell her just _why_ he puts up with someone like him, return everything he's gotten her and storm off and go somewhere else, _anywhere_ else, just to get away from this child masquerading as a man.

Not even her gratitude should be able to make her spend _one more day_ in Vashyron's company-- never mind the fact that Zephyr himself doesn't seem particularly invested in her getting along with the man. Or anyone, for that matter. But...

She should hate him.

But.

But Vashyron also gives up his bed and room for Leanne, refuses to say what his new sleeping arrangements are-- although she very strongly suspects he's been sleeping on the couch in the living room-- and doesn't complain once about it. He just grins at her and cracks some absolutely _infuriating_ joke, but he does it as he brings in new bed sheets for her, soft sheets in soft colors, setting them on the bed that used to be his.

He bought her new clothes, got her a place to live, and never once complains about having an extra mouth to feed. He treats her as if he's known her all her life, as if she's been his _friend_ all her life and it's...

It's different.

It doesn't make everything else any better, not really. It doesn't make her want to slap him around some more any less, doesn't really make her want to forgive him for some of the things he's said.

But.

It's nice. In a way.

She's never had friends before, not really. Only Juris and... And he's not someone she wants to think about too much just then, not just yet. And she's not even sure he counts anyway.

And when she, hesitantly, carefully, tells him and Zephyr ( _some_ of) the truth of why she's here, the very basics, the reason she jumped, he...

He doesn't react the way she expected.

He doesn't crack a joke about it, but he doesn't seem overly somber either, doesn't look at her in concern, doesn't... Doesn't _lecture_ her about giving up on life like she'd half-feared.

Vashyron only smiles-- different from his usual smile, smaller, not quite as ridiculously obnoxious-- and, gently, claps her on the shoulder.

"But you don't have to do that anymore, right?" he says. "So no worries, kid."

She doesn't... cry. Not at that. It's pretty stupid, after all. Vashyron really doesn't have a way with words and at all and she... doesn't cry. Why would she cry over something so stupid?

(And she can lie to herself, after the fact, when she's rubbing at her red-rimmed eyes, if she wants. It's not like any of the three of them are going to tell.)

 

**iv.**

It's not long before Leanne starts going out in the city on her own, before her every trip out no longer involves trailing after a silent Zephyr or Vashyron enthusiastically introducing her to this or that person.

It feels good. It feels _wonderful_ , to be able to just _leave_ whenever she wants, to come back whenever she wants and this freedom... it's precious, a gift she never expected to get and she'll be damned if she lets it slip through her fingers.

So she sets her sights on getting used to this new city, on getting used to life in an entirely different level of Basel. It's not unpleasant on Level 3, not really, but the constant sound of gears (louder than they ever were up in Chandelier) takes some getting used to, the clutter and junk no one would have ever dreamed of seeing in the upper two levels, the very amount of _sunlight_. It's strange. She knows it's worse in the lower levels, knows quite a good amount of sunlight actually filters through to this level, but it's... disconcerting, still, to feel as if she's constantly caught in the middle of a mildly cloudy day, and she's... just not sure what to make of it.

Ebel City itself is easier. She learns that Zephyr and Vashyron's work ( _Hunters_ ) actually makes them quite well-liked among the inhabitants of the city and they're all more than willing to show the same kindness to her, the girl who refuses to say where she came from and how she's come to live with her two new roommates. Aside from a few curious glances here and there, no one really seems to mind and she can't help but be so, _so_ grateful for it.

So it's easy to talk to the people in the city, to meet people she can, maybe, tentatively, almost call acquaintances, if not friends. She meets the general store's owner's shy little granddaughter Millia that way, finds herself admiring the graceful Poesy, and. It's how she meets Betty and it's the first time she's ever even come _close_ to being friends with a girl near her own age and she just...

...Doesn't want to think about it too hard, knows she's likely to burst into tears if she does and she tries, she really, really does try, because that's really no reason at all to cry. She should be happy and. And she _is_ , she really is, but this is yet one more thing, just one more thing she never dreamed she'd ever have and it's.

It just is.

And Betty still manages to see right through her one afternoon, of course, and she can't even remember what set her off, but _something_ did and Betty's kind, so kind, about it and that shouldn't make her cry harder, but.

But in the end it's... It's okay, even if she does ruin her makeup. (And she'd just started wearing it, too, after finally gathering up the courage to use the kit she'd gotten with her new clothes.)

She just needs to adjust, everyone tells her, and she knows she will, she really does.

She just wishes it would happen faster.

 

**v.**

They teach her how to use a gun.

No. They talk to her about their jobs as Hunters, ask her if she wants in, assure her she doesn't need to do it to pay them back for their kindnesses or anything of the like, (well, Vashyron does. She's not sure Zephyr would even know how.) and... After deliberating, after spending two nights lying awake in bed, wondering whether it'd be a good idea, whether she should do it for them, whether she should do it for _herself_...

Well, it doesn't really matter in the end, does it? In the end, she says yes, tells them she wants to help, wants to grow to be as strong as them.

And then they teach her how to use a gun.

They go to the Arena, after getting some tips from Adolfo at the guild, and she holds a gun for the very first time.

Its weight is heavy in her hands, heavier than she ever expected it to be, and it's just target practice, something that can't possibly go wrong, but her hands still shake with the weight of it, and she's not scared. She's _not_ , she can't be scared. So she's not, she's absolutely _not_ , because she'll likely need to use a gun often as a Hunter and it's... It's something she can do. It has to be.

So she lets them teach her and, eventually, she goes on her first job with them and she still can't hit all of the targets, but she... manages and.

It takes her hands a long time to stop shaking, but she feels... strong. Capable.

She can be strong. She can be useful.

And she doesn't cry when she first shoots a man, she doesn't. It'd been part of a job and he'd been about to shoot at Zephyr and it probably wouldn't have done any more than graze him, but if she can keep him and Vashyron from getting hurt, if she can just help them the way they've helped her, regardless of what they have to say about... She's hardly going to pass up the chance.

Besides. She can't ruin her makeup again.

 

**vi.**

And if, in time, it all ends up being just a little exciting... It's not like either of her companions disagrees.

 

**vii.**

She hasn't really entirely adjusted, not even close. She knows it like she knows her own name.

But when they go up to Chandelier again for a job, she's not afraid.

There's a strange twisting ache in her chest, a memory, an echo ( _but it's not even close to Christmas yet_ ) she can't quite shake, but she's not afraid.

The fact that they don't go up to Level 1 helps, certainly, but the two steady presences at her side help even more. And she's not afraid.

It's not like Leanne can pretend it's all in the past, all forgotten, not when there's still so much she just _doesn't know_ , but she can let go of it for the moment. She can focus on the job, even if it is simple.

She doesn't need to worry about it.

Not yet.


End file.
